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Rhetorical Elegies for Dissonant Dreams (R​.​E​.​D​.​D​.​)

by Shius ft. Big Al

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1.
Nothing makes sense, I tried to see what I had lost But I was never the best, at the actions that I preached So when the time came and went, I saw myself in third person Fucking up the same words that I promised I would keep here There's a tower in my head - that leads to nowhere but up I wear a crown as I climb, shaking as I reach a stop So let the tower rise, I know I can't go down I feel so scared at the top, but I won't break this crown Do digital singers dream of digital sheep In a way that I might preach what I could never be So long, long gone, rhetorical philosophies Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let this now teach me what I've got inside of I saw that tower in my dreams - spiraling way up so high I was just shaking again again again yet There you were holding my hand, guiding me where I couldn't be The hyperventilating stopped and you were next to me To a past that I tried to replace The best days of your life will never fade away but Promise me that one day that you'll keep it, keep the memories and secrets All I wanted was a future I could cherish, so Leave that noose on the ground, on day you're never gonna see it Pasts so horrible they dampen even future light Just keep your faith in what you have now, say you'll never look back Hold on to what you have cause you might never get it back Do digital singers dream of digital sheep In a way that I might preach what I could never be So long, long gone, rhetorical philosophies Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let this now teach me what I've got inside of me It's the time to be strong It's not the time to be sad It's the time to be true When all I ever did was cry I wish I'd never said Goodbye I wish I'd never said It's the time to be hopeful When the world passes by And I'd rather be tainted Than to lose them by my side I hope I'll never say Goodbye I hope I'll never say Do digital singers dream of digital sheep? In a way that I might preach what I could never be So long, long gone, rhetorical philosophies Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let the past haunt what I have left inside of me Let this now teach me what I've got inside of me
2.
Cerberus 03:51
They say, Soundless footfalls echo here, where watchdogs go astray Come play, no go away, three heads that don't think straight They've got Three heads on their paws, three mouths - gaping jaws All the things that they need to keep the spawn at bay Loyalty to the death, they've got it all figured out 'cept for one minor detail - a hell that gets so loud Three voices - each one with their own demands, They all are dreaming of something that they know nothing about A normal hound in the fields, towards a beautiful view A quiet mind of one that never knew the absence of two (They see sound come nearer - Footfalls) (Three heads one voice - Three heads one us) Three heads one soul, Three heads one heart, Three voices - and all their personalities. Three times the bark, Three times the bite, Three times - will you come to play this game with us? Dog 1, they trusted him to guard hell. He was a hound of his word a loyal beast in the making Unsure of his stance with the others - life just passed him by Soon forgetting of the hell he'd kept inside his mind Dog 2, protector and a prosecutor. She was a fearful force of nature that lived life on the edge Her wrath that she had kept, forgotten by her own brother Was to be kept on a leash - never to feel again. Dog 3, they watched as it all flew by. They never did hold a grudge, but sought to never forget The youngest of the three - yet wisest, they were silent until The gates of hell had rotted loose showing the devil himself They said: "Wish all we want - we can't change who we are" "And I'd rather fall then fail those who I love" "We won't be alive forever, so let's do this" Three heads one soul, Three heads one heart, Three voices - and all their personalities. Three times the bark, Three times the bite, Three times - will you come to play this game with us? Three heads one soul, Three heads one heart, Three voices - and all their personalities. Loved ones to lose, Our friends right here, One hero - who's come to play with us Three heads to one, I hope that you have said goodnight. Three heads to one, I hope that you have said goodbye. Three heads to one, I hope that you have said (x3) Three heads to one, I hope that you have said goodnight.
3.
Forget me not, until the moon falls down Take us up to the stars - we won't regret you Move your head to the beat - and shake your two left feet All you know you've done will surely make you And to all the forgotten, we raise our hands and pray That they found something we couldn't have, here inside the fray Cause In a past we've forgotten, we don't know what we've lost So raise your head and sing along Elegies Back when we knew what we had all the time We knew what freedom was, not how to get there And soon adventurers rose, amidst a cloud of dark To seek a path for the rest of us who would start the spark To the readers, the dreamers and believers The ones who made it and the ones who became leaders There are the people in your past that you have left behind Can you face them now, or will you run and hide And I like to speak, yeah I know what I mean Cause if I didn't I know that I would've died here There's a face in my past, things I know never would've last All we ever are memories to someone else And as I lay my head, I know I'll never rest We're all but nothing to the people who have made us And as I lay my head, I know I've never left So let me sing them these songs, forgotten elegies
4.
Oh dear Nightingale, won't you sing my song? Dance the waltz in the dark as I hum along By the dawn you'll fly You won't say goodbye And by night fall I know I won't be alright (Ah) Nightingale, fly into the daylight Sing along with me I'll write Tonight (x3) Until the daybreak I will fly again You better watch me A burning fire lights up the dark The spark you killed Still lives inside my heart You were never the one with the Crown, you threw the first punch It's my turn to sing I'll fight Tonight (x3) Until the daybreak I will bite again You better watch me Memory dies, it's bittersweet The scars all fade There's nothing left Will I forgive Will I forget In the end I said "Oh nightingale, lend me your wings" "So I can see what you see" (In the end I want to be) "Oh nightingale, lend me your voice" "I'll be the best I can be" Nightingale, fly into the daylight Sing along with me I'll fly Tonight (x3) Until the daybreak 'Till it's time to say Goodbye!
5.
Once a kid who just wanted to run They found some solace in the music that kept them around And when they sang it gave them life - it was all that they had They kept it so close to themselves they would never be sad And soon the days came and went, and the kid's all grown up Now they're an adult without hope and they're runnin' outta luck But soon the fact will be apparent that their music was fate And then the kid that tried to run will be all but a saint Oh, in the past I loved you Music Oh what I've done to sing you Let me cry Hear me sigh Say Goodbye Let me die Say Goodbye It was the fame that got to them first Just a name among the others that stood out like a curse Cause when they put their shit online they knew that someone would listen And when the record label called'em, yeah they knew they were hitting Cause when the business started poppin, it was all so much And all their actions caused a traction - and their fans built up And though their listeners weren't adults - just some kids online, They were an army to be reckoned, sparkling from their eyes But you see, they were foolish, yeah they were just like us And when they fucked up, yeah they messed up- yeah they ran outta luck But the kids, almost religious, couldn't let'em just fade Until they woke up to a lawsuit from a parent in pain Oh, in the past I loved you Music Oh what I've done to sing you Let me cry Hear me sigh Say Goodbye Let me die Say Good- If I could say I was sorry Would I have the guts? If I could say I was sorry Would it be enough? There is a kid out there, wanting to run With the power to make something that an audience will love And when they get it and they make it - it'll never be enough So they'll keep reaching for the fame like fish to water in a cup But if they don't learn at all - their empire's bound to fall And they'll regret it when a kid like them gets hurt through it all So don't ever do something that you know you'll surely regret You're not a face in the crowd, when you're on top of the set Oh, in the past I loved you Music Oh what I've done to sing you Let me cry Hear me sigh Say Goodbye Let me die Say Goodbye (If I could start all over again) (Would it be enough?)
6.
(Look up the sky's red and falling down) (Look up the sky's green and toxic) Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us We all have time just not enough Fate's what you make of it, cause Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us Give me a chance to prove myself Life's what you make of it, so Back when I was younger things made sense, it wasn't all a blur As I grew up the thing they changed And I began dissociating Things and people blend into a tool that I could use to live And money was the currency of what I knew was everything so Kill me but don't take my soul yet These skies are bound to come crashing down All I know is what they all told me All I feel is what you have shown me Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us We all have time just not enough Fate's what you make of it, cause Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us Give me a chance to prove myself Life's what you make of it, so (Look up the sky's red and falling down) (Look up the sky's green and toxic) (Kill me but don't take my soul yet) (These skies are bound to come crashing down) What can I do its all but done Innocence shattered like glass What can I do its all but done There's nothing left but broken shards In time I'll be okay In time I'll see Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us We all have time just not enough Fate's what you make of it, cause Dissonant skies are above us These broken paths are what make us Give me a chance to prove myself Life's what you make of it, so (Keep walking don't look down, just look up) (Keep walking don't ever stop to look back) (We are stepping on bones of what's come and past) (We are making a path that will never last)
7.
In bed I lay, my eyes wide open The dark scares me and I can't sleep Night fall is when the shadows come I'm scared and shaking so I will stay awake Night time is when the clock ticks 12 The demons under me will pave the way To hell Tamed not domesticated The monsters that you've feared They are here to stay They are here to stay Changing into fears of nothing The shadows that will haunt you never go away Time will tell who comes or goes but We will never, never let you remain the same Even when the sun is up We'll never leave you so just lead the way back I know a shadow named depression He's always been around When things seem dull and life is hopeless He always seeks me out Dissociation, his friend They'll kick me down until I bleed My mind's a mess but I know They're all inside of me These monsters here since I was little They've been changing their shape From shadows on the walls to Fears I could never escape but Tonight I'll fight them off again Hopefully this time I'll win Feeding the fire that will one day Burn through both of them Night fall is when the shadows come I'm scared and shaking so I will stay awake Night time is when the clock ticks 12 The demons under me will pave the way To hell Tamed not domesticated The monsters that you've feared They are here to stay They are here to stay Changing into fears of nothing The shadows that will haunt you never go away Time will tell who comes or goes but We will never, never let you remain the same Even when the the sun is up We'll never leave you so just lead the way Back to When I grow up I'll burn my way Fight fire with fire But I'll stay the same When I grow up I'll burn my way Fight fire with fire But I'll stay the same And I still haven't changed Though I have split into fragments There's a child within me And he's looking for vengeance Cause revenge is what he's seeking But I'm full of disdain For a past that I had That never left much for change So lets fight fire with water I should've never been alive But if I am I'll make the most of what I've got And let my demons rot Tamed not domesticated The monsters that you've feared They are here to stay They are here to stay Changing into fears of nothing The shadows that will haunt you never go away Time will tell who comes or goes but We will never, never let you remain the same Close the blinds and leave it dark We'll never leave you so just lead the way Back to bed
8.
Amsterdam 03:13
Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side Through the wind and the storm, from the smoke and black gas All I'd ever known were red-light districts A concrete jungle and a church, another man inside the hearse A smell that wafts through the air and almost chokes you Our love's a funny thing, something that we both share Hundreds of miles away, I'm missing Amsterdam And when the days come to end, I hope you put me to rest 'Cause by my side I don't want anybody but you Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side Dissonant melodies to the love that we share I'll sing a song I can't sing, if that means you will be there Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side As desperation settles in I'll know that it wasn't lust Instead a want to belong, and be loved by you I'm sorry I'm like this, just wanted you to know That the world wasn't there while I was hanging by a rope Depression may kill me, but I know you'll be sad I've been crying for years on things that I could never have I want to love you, I know I really do But I don't know how to love when I can't see the truth So teach me in time, I know that you have helped me feel I want to know if love is something that is real I want to see if I could ever really feel I want to know if love is something that is real Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, and I will never leave his side Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side Dissonant melodies to the love that we share I'll sing a song I can't sing, if that means you will be there Amsterdam take me home again To the one I love, don't let him ever leave my side As desperation settles in I'll know that it wasn't lust Instead a want to belong, and be loved by you And when the days come to end, I hope you put me to rest Hundreds of miles away, I'm missing Amsterdam
9.
The time has come to say goodbye Ways from childhood toys, hope they will be alright Far from home they will stay, dissipate in the night We only got one childhood Bastions standing strong, they were never what we believed The wall is frail and made of lies We all helped build it you and I Bastions fall, let me be your guide It will be over soon Count to three darling, Mother won't take your hand Bastions fall, it is time to grow You know what that means Father isn't here, the walls will break before they bend No one wants to build a fortress that was once broken No one wants the burden of a broken home Kids I know from these families come out once scarred With their security jacked, and their hearts charred All it takes is innocence, something so easily destroyed Yet when it leaves it feels as if your heart has gone cold Tell me now you weren't serious when you said that you'd protect us While we're out in the open, protecting you There's the sounds of bastions falling you let the enemy in Now the fortress walls are cracking and the castle sinks Can't go home bound when our fortress is a wall made of glass Watch your childhood crumble and hope this won't be your last We only got one childhood, bastions were never what they seemed The wall is frail and made of lies, we're the ones who built it you and I Bastions fall, let me be your guide It will be over soon Count to three darling, Mother won't take your hand Bastions fall, it is time to grow You know what that means Father isn't here, the walls will break before they bend The time has come to say goodbye Ways from childhood toys, hope they will be alright Far from home they will stay, dissipate in the night
10.
The Alibi 04:23
[Policeman] 2043, December 28. The crimescene up in the mansion, where the android sat Being taken to custody he gazed at his hands, whispering about some faeries and a child's land In the seat where he's caged, you'll have to sit with him alone, he's no use to us, but I'll put him on the phone [Al] My name is Al, I am not man You hate me now but can't you see I did this all for their sake It's all for their sake It's all for their sake It's over, I will not run when the lights go- [Chorus] (Al Al, what's your alibi) I'm a slave to the man I hate the most (Al Al, why are you trying to hide) There is no justice for what he has done (Al Al, it's no use to lie) Even all of the boys are just through with him (Al Al, what's your alibi) You'll never hear what I have to say [Detective] Listen closely here, Al, to what I'm gonna say There's been rumors 'bout this man they say that you have slain I cannot save you if you lie, you're no use to the case I need some info on this man, and the boys he erased [Al] Through choking him, I sold my life Dark halls lonely walls were all I saw So turn me off, I will not fight Even your god cannot save me now He won't save me now He won't save me now So be it, I'll die by hands that created me [Chorus] (Al Al, what's your alibi) I'm a slave to the man I hate the most (Al Al, why are you trying to hide) There is no justice for what he has done (Al Al, it's no use to lie) Even all of the boys are just through with him (Al Al, what's your alibi) You'll never hear what I have to say [Al] Scars on my hands depict the truth I am but a flaw in the programming Caught in the act, all that I had The little boys that all ran away They all ran away They all ran away So be it, I'll die protecting who I loved [Detective] They didn't love you, Al, they used you like a pawn Ballistics positive he struggled and scratched up their arms We know the kids have run, they're never coming back Your master's gone and now you've got one task left to attack You say you choked him right? You say that this was your fault You smeared your hands on his neck, erased the fingerprints But we have seen the truth, the tissues underneath his nails The thing with Androids is that, they don't have DNA. [Chorus] (Al Al, what's your alibi) I'm part of a family who I love (Al Al, why are you trying to hide) There is no justice for what he has done (Al Al, it's no use to lie) Even the family cannot take his rage (Al Al, what's your alibi) You'll never feel what I have to take [Al] My name is Al, I am not man You hate me now but can't you see I did this all for their sake It's all for their sake It's all for their sake It's over, I will not run -
11.
I took the gun, and I pulled the trigger All the shattered glass, fragmented light in prisms All these fragments show a reflection Now In the mirroring glass, show some redemption Now we wait It's not my method to choose, I will still follow it through It's not a voice in my head, it's stuck here with me to the end I took the gun, I pulled the trigger I killed him Lock me up and hide, you don't want to see it Anymore Now I sit and try, to contain my anger I am not disturbed, I will not cry no longer It's not my method to choose, I will still follow it through It's not a voice in my head, it's stuck here with me to the end Sing a lullaby now, blood will pave my way through If I cannot survive, I will have to kill you Sing a lullaby now, blood will make its way to you If I cannot surmise, I will pave my way to you Sing a lullaby, Sing a lullaby When you say goodbye, I wish you goodnight It's not my method to choose, I will still follow it through It's not a voice in my head, it's stuck here with me to the end I took the gun, I pulled the trigger Now Lock me up and hide, you don't want to see it I killed him I sit and try, to contain my anger I am not disturbed, I will not cry no longer.
12.

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This Album features Me and Big Al (Vocaloid 2). Album Illustration by MorbidMorsel.

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released October 7, 2018

Cheesum, for tuning in "The Alibi"

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Shius Japan

Comically Traumatized

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