I saw nightmares again I was another person - Another time Another place Another me. I was in the hospital, Underground beside the morgue A freakshow in a wing I never thought I'd enter Never thought I'd see. Yet I was alive Trapped in my body In my mind Where the voices haunt my dreams. I was alive. It was back in the days, when I couldn't feel right No matter what they said - I knew it wasn't alright I guess I must've split then, I never felt like myself 'Cause when they kicked me in the end I felt like I could never help but be hopeless Alone in the darkness, I scratched like a madman - Talking to myself, and the God that I once knew No, they were just once true When I knew I could still dream of the powers I prayed to. Like a fool. Who knew... It was some years before I met them The people in my head 'Cause like they said - I was "special". Who knew that "special" Could bruise you like a fork on your hand? The sight of barcode scars, They never failed to make me laugh. I was crazy - I still am The years they come and go, and The people that I once knew and the god that I'd forgotten They were with me - still. Back to back with my mind Elizabeth in my stride Cube never faling to pick up what she'd left behind There was the God that I prayed to The little girl I once knew And the cast and crew of voices That gave noise that I'd forgotten And the music, the memories - The chaos and the silence Like a fever dream - I couldn't tell If what I saw was violence Or if it happened - did it happen? I don't know if I'll ever see That what my past bestowed me was a pocket full of holes And no memory No memory. And the story's just begun with me A hidden four years right behind me - The doctor, he calls for more medicine An easy way out The medication, just hanging right in front of me. And I count down the days That I'll see them in my dreams again The person who I once was And the trauma that I now hold - It's a part of me. And I'm still "me" - No I haven't changed. Back to back with my mind Elizabeth in my stride Cube never faling to pick up what she'd left behind There was the God that I prayed to The little girl I once knew And the cast and crew of voices That gave noise that I'd forgotten And the music, the memories - The chaos and the silence Like a fever dream - I couldn't tell If what I saw was violence Or if it happened - did it happen? I don't know if I'll ever see That what my past bestowed me was a pocket full of holes And no memory No memory.

Ashes to ashes Our dreams are dead In the dark, you think of the words you've never said To anyone To anyone But yourself. And in the night where they belong You stare again towards the ceiling There are shadows in the wall But when everything means nothing You're not scared You're not scared. Not at all. In the darkness you pray To a god you don't know Yet you know that it's futile When the silence turns to storm And the days that pass by you, They pass like the wind As you wish to the heavens - With no hope you'll get in Like the stars, Your friendships once lit up the night But now alone, you look up - And you can't see the light The light Their life. Where were the times you knew you would fight For their lives? Why did the passion flee into the night? Say goodbye. Knight in shining armor, where did they go? The role that I'd been playing Where did it go, Why did it go? Where did we go so wrong - Oh no ...Oh no. Where were the times you knew you would fight? Why did the passion flee into the night? Say goodbye, Say goodbye.

Well it's been 5 years I've washed away the past Down my throat, to the stomach Where the pain won't last It's been a long time I still remember your face Like the insects that I killed When I would hear your name It was the small things, that bothered me so much Like when you argued that I need a friend who I could touch But you were there for me, back then when nobody was I thought I saw you in the dark, before the dawn of dusk To my dear friend, Matt I miss you every night. Like an arrow on a compass - You were my only guide. After my 18th birthday Feels like I forgot The conversations that we had And all the peace I sought Was in the past now I killed my dreams that day I saw a nightmare I was crazy When you came to play. In the mental wing All of my days were gray Would you be mad if you knew, That I had wanted to stay? Sure I was slowly going mad But who was there to blame? I was the only one at fault For friends who never came. And you never came. Yeah I knew it was true, But all the pictures that I drew Depicted me and you Holding hands, just looking up at the sky Just the friends that we were I thought I'd never say goodbye.

Hey what's up? Your time is up Your serotonin's run out - and all your light is gone! Hey dude! I'm your bestest friend, you know me well by now I've always sticked around you - I found you! You know the times we've spent? Yeah all the times you've wept? It's been so long since our last depressive episode So lemme give you what I do best - explosive breakdowns You know I'm never leaving my best pal so high - Right? Oh you're funny - you say you don't know me So let me introduce you to me Your greatest enemy. I'm depression, it's nice to meet you Been through so much shit, It's almost like the world hates you! Oh yeah it's not paranoia - although anxiety's my girl! It's just a hate for yourself, And a hate for the world! Accept your fate as a punching bag, 'Cause you're a joke. You'll never be who you wanna be - Just bored, and broke The world you know never thought of you, I doubt it ever will But you know who's inside you? I love you still! People keep pointing out the obvious - it's funny cause "Hey kid, your writing's getting weird" "It's almost morbid and" "You seem to have a fascination with the dark" Like - you know what they say If they gave a fuck, they'd let you stay. It would be weird if anyone cared, anyway It's not like they could take the pain of being born away But then you realize - it's nobody's fault but your own And shit gets worse 'cause it feels like you're so alone But then you look on the bright side - You know I'm there! Watching you suffer as I laugh all the way To your doom I will be there on your deathbed High-fiving you! Cogratulations on your end - I caused it, too! I'm depression, it's nice to meet you Been through so much shit, It's almost like the world hates you! Oh yeah it's not paranoia - although anxiety's my girl! It's just a hate for yourself, And a hate for the world! Accept your fate as a punching bag, 'Cause you're a joke. You'll never be who you wanna be - Just bored, and broke The world you know never thought of you, I doubt it ever will But you know who's inside you? I love you still! I'm depression, it's nice to meet you! Been through so much shit, It's almost like the world hates you! Oh yeah it's not paranoia - although anxiety's my girl! It's just a hate for yourself, And a hate for the world! Accept your fate as a punching bag, 'Cause you're a joke. You'll never be who you wanna be - Just bored, and broke The world you know never thought of you, I doubt it ever will But you know who's inside you? I love you still! I'm depression, it's nice to meet you! I'm depression, it's nice to meet you! I'm depression Nice to meet ya.

[TO DO] Lyric video for now: https://youtu.be/kBE4weGFvB4?si=L3Pwi_Ni2GIBpb2i

[TO DO] Lyric video for now: https://youtu.be/iaxUYhbDC2c?si=zoT2LRJ0kw_uw5S7

[TO DO] Lyric video for now: https://youtu.be/6ZvPxd4dufU?si=O8Ohk12ezEFR7Yr0

[TO DO] Lyric video for now: https://youtu.be/T700GLYgrDM?si=-mNrnizqmwPP9-dR

I was sad so I wrote a song Although I knew it wouldn't matter When I wake up, I will be all alone Yet again And the people in my head, they say to die another day When all I find is the chance, to make me cry another way But the lights, and the snow - they keep me here another day I had a home but I lost it; bridges charred as I erased My own face from the pictures - I never meant for me to stay I kept on moving 'till I forgot my home, now astray Now astray Here I stay. I was sad so I wrote a song Although I knew it wouldn't matter When I wake up, I will be all alone Yet again But all the scenes of life, flash through me like a movie I am a screen for all the things that I've reflected All the actors I've been For I am not one person - I was them and they were me We are one and together, though I wish that that was all they'd be Fragmented memories - dictate I'm sick and disjointed But they are all I have left, when I am here and isolated So do forgive me for I never have changed My head's a mess, and seperated is my heart To where I cannot mend. Five years on medication - since the day I turned 18 All I've wanted was a place that I could call my home And the life that I've lived - the love I've gained and friends I've lost All the meaning that I've found, amongst the memories gone All my life in a nightmare; dissociative fantasies Yet I know one day I'll wake to see you sleeping by my side Five years on medication - one day I'll finally make peace Even if I don't recover I will never forget. I was sad so I wrote a song Although I knew it wouldn't matter When I wake up, I will be all alone Yet again But if I never recovered, I'd know I'd never forgive And times you've helped me would be times that you would just forget So all these memories - even when fading and twisted Bring me back to a place that I knew I could never call home But I belong here - so here I will remain Until the day that I move on Here I stay. Five years on medication - since the day I turned 18 All I've wanted was a place that I could call my home And the life that I've lived - the love I've gained and friends I've lost All the meaning that I've found, amongst the memories gone All my life in a nightmare; dissociative fantasies Yet I know one day I'll wake to see you sleeping by my side Five years on medication - one day I'll finally make peace Even if I don't recover I will never regret.